Writing by Luz Michelle
Artwork by Cara Mcpartland
Dear Luz,
I’m really lonely, and I want a boyfriend. I’ve tried several dating apps, but no such luck. A friend of mine met her husband on Craig’s List. What do you think?
– All alone
Dear Not Alone,
Let’s put those dating woes in park and rev up some self-love. Yes, even Craigslist has its surprises, you can also find a human sized hamster wheel on that site! (true story). Take a breath, remind yourself of your royal status, and declare, “I attract what I deserve!”
Repeat after me: “The one who appreciates my awesome sauce is out there, scouting for me.” Then, rally your squad, hit your favorite spots, and let the universe know you’re open for business. Your next chapter? It’s already written, just grab that calendar and start penciling in the adventures.
Stay true to your fabulous self. You’ve got this!
Dear Luz,
What’s your favorite number? Why?
– Math is cool
Hey there, Coolness,
So, you had me over here thinking you were asking me for my digits! Who doesn’t love a confident move like that, am I right?
As for me, my favorite number has got to be 7. It’s like the Beyoncé of numbers—complete, perfect and spiritually significant.
Now, spill the beans—what’s your lucky number?
Dear Luz,
My kid has over $1k worth of skincare products, and she’s only 12 years old. It’s ridiculous. Her skin is naturally beautiful, with no blemishes in sight. But she is obsessed, and she’s constantly asking family members to buy her more products. How do I stop the insanity?
– Not a beauty queen
Dear Not a Beauty Queen,
WOW, I am impressed. Back in my day, it was all about Noxzema and Suave (throwback, right?). Kudos to your daughter for embracing self-care early on.
But the obsession? Blame it on the social media skincare frenzy. Here’s an idea: flip the script and channel her passion into profit. Encourage her to whip up her own potions and lotions. Who knows, she might just become the next skincare mogul!
And hey, if she needs a tester, count me in. I’m all about those product baskets.
Dear Luz,
My parents have taken me on tours at a few colleges, and they’re so embarrassing! They ask really stupid questions about things like dining hall options, the dorms, extra curricular activities, and even what the “social life” is like. How do I tell them to shut up?
– My parents are worse than yours
Hey there,
It’s like they’re prepping for a CIA mission, right? But here’s the thing: underneath those “stupid” questions lies a whole lot of love. They’re just making sure you’re set for your next adventure into college life.
Speaking from the other side, my dad was the king of questions, and now that he’s gone, I’d give anything for just one more annoying query. So, cherish these moments, even if they make you cringe.
Trust me, they’re not trying to be embarrassing; they’re just showing you how much they care.
Dear Luz,
Help me settle an argument, please. My friend says saying “thank you” isn’t necessary, ever. Whenever we go out to eat together, she rolls her eyes when I thank the waiter for bringing us our food. She says saying “thank you” makes me seem like a pushover and people will take advantage of me. But I disagree. In fact, I send thank you notes to people who do something nice for me. I think it matters. Who is right?
– Wasn’t raised by wolves
Dear Ms. Manners,
Thank you for bringing up this debate.
In my book, saying “thank you” is as essential as breathing. It’s a tiny gesture that speaks volumes about your character. Think of it like holding the door for someone—it’s just common courtesy.
Sure, your friend might think it makes you look like a pushover, but in reality, it shows you’re appreciative and respectful. And those thank you notes? Pure class.
So, from one “thank you” aficionado to another, keep spreading that gratitude. It’s what makes the world a little brighter.
Thanks for reaching out—I appreciate it!
This article was published in the July/August 2024 edition of Connect to Northern Westchester.
Luz Michelle
Luz Michelle has channelled her unique life experiences and background into a successful comedy career, gracing stages such as Caroline's, Gotham Comedy Club, The Stand, The NY Underground Comedy Festival, The North Carolina Comedy Festival and more, with her malapropisms and unique style. As Founder of Hard Headed Comedy™, a comedy entertainment company, Luz produces live and streamed showcases featuring a diverse mix of established and up-and-coming comedic talent.