Writing by Luz Michelle
Photography by Justin Negard
Dear Luz,
I’m a college sophomore, and I’ve been taking Spanish for the last three semesters. My parents just told me we’re taking a family trip to Spain over the December break, but… I’ve been skipping classes for the last three semesters. They expect me to translate, but that’s clearly not going to happen. Please help!
No hablo Espanol
Dear Translator,
Well, you’ve definitely created a “lost in translation” situation for yourself! But fear not—there’s an easy fix: you need to fess up. Be honest with your parents about your battle with Spanish class attendance. Explain that while you’re more “binge-watching Spanish TV shows” than “fluent,” you’re ready to embrace the adventure. Suggest they pack a trusty translation app or hire a local guide (you will foot the bill, of course).
Even if they’re mad, they’ll appreciate your honesty, and you can visit Spain without feeling like a linguistic fraud.
Honesty matters,
Luz
Dear Luz,
My daughter has become friends with a very sweet, smart girl. She was invited to this friend’s house after school, and when I stepped inside to pick her up, I was shocked. The house is FILTHY! Not dirty or messy–filthy! I’m not a neat freak or a germaphobe, but this house was truly disgusting. I made my daughter shower as soon as she got home. I have no problem with my daughter’s new friend, but I don’t want her going to that house ever again. What should I say to my daughter?
Grossed out
Dear Clean-Up Crew,
It’s great that your daughter has found a new friend, but I totally get the shock. The scene you encountered is definitely a lot to handle. If you don’t want your daughter at her friend’s home again, be honest. She probably noticed it too but was too afraid of losing her new friend to say anything to you. Make it clear it’s not her friend’s fault, and you support your daughter’s choice of friends.
You could also use this to teach your daughter about setting expectations and being prepared. Before future visits to new-to-you houses, might I suggest meeting the parents and getting a better sense of their home environment? And, as a bonus, this could also be a good opportunity to reinforce the importance of keeping her own space tidy.
Keep it clean,
Luz
Dear Luz,
My child is friends with a kid in her class who is very sweet, but this kid’s mom is not my cup of tea. She thinks she’s a social media “influencer” and constantly posts pictures of herself and her kids, yet I’m the opposite. I NEVER post pictures of my children online. Every time my daughter goes to her house, I tell the mom she’s not allowed to post pictures of my daughter, but she keeps doing it! Each time I see a post with my daughter, I ask her to take it down, and she does. But I don’t understand why she keeps posting them. I don’t want to ban my daughter from her friend’s house, but I don’t know what else to do. Any ideas?
Private mama
Dear Private Momma,
Oh boy, I hear you loud and clear! It sounds like you’re dealing with a classic case of “wannabe social media influencer” (yes, that’s the professional term). I’m with you on keeping your kids’ lives offline—privacy is key, and we don’t need a digital crowd critiquing our every move.
If you can endure it, have one final chat with this mom and lay it out VERY clearly. Be firm about your no-posting rule and why it’s important to you. Express your frustration with her refusal to honor your request. If she continues to ignore your wishes, you might need to up the ante by reporting those posts and even reporting her page if necessary. And if you’re feeling particularly bold, you could even make a social media post of your own (but keep it private) about respecting other parents’ wishes. Sometimes a little public accountability can work wonders!
You’ve got this—just remember, you’re not alone in this digital jungle.
Rooting for you,
Luz
Dear Luz,
My wife spends more time on her phone than talking to me. She’s constantly on Instagram and TikTok, and when she’s not scrolling her life away, she’s playing CandyCrush or Wordle. I feel ignored and insulted. Am I really less interesting than an electronic rectangle? How can I address this without causing a fight?
Invisible husband
Dear I See You,
Ah, the classic battle of screen vs. spouse—an all-too-familiar saga, and, sadly, also our new normal. It sounds like your wife is a bit too engrossed in her digital world, so let’s orchestrate a tech-free evening. Set up a romantic dinner or a cozy movie night with zero devices allowed. Sometimes, it’s about creating a space where the phone’s siren is silenced and real connection takes center stage. Towards the end of the evening, gently address the topic and your feelings. Let her know you miss your quality time together and want to rediscover the joy of conversation.
And if all else fails, you might want to consider a surprise “unplugged” moment, if you know what I mean. No guarantees, but it could be a memorable way to get her attention!
Reclaim that spotlight,
Luz
To read other Dear Luz articles, click here.
This article was published in the September/October 2024 edition of Connect to Northern Westchester.
Luz Michelle
Luz Michelle has channelled her unique life experiences and background into a successful comedy career, gracing stages such as Caroline's, Gotham Comedy Club, The Stand, The NY Underground Comedy Festival, The North Carolina Comedy Festival and more, with her malapropisms and unique style. As Founder of Hard Headed Comedy™, a comedy entertainment company, Luz produces live and streamed showcases featuring a diverse mix of established and up-and-coming comedic talent.