Dear Luz #22

By Luz Michelle

Artwork by Justin Negard

Disclaimer: It’s okay to laugh—this is a humor column! We welcome your Dear Luz questions, but we’re legally obligated to say this is not a substitute for real advice by professionals.

Dear Luz,

My girlfriend treats my response times like a live tracking system. If I don’t answer within the hour, I get the passive-aggressive “You good?” text—which we both know means I’m not good in her mind.

Recently my phone broke, I went quiet, and by hour two she was texting my friends like I had gone missing. How do I tell her to relax…without starting a whole new situation?

—Just Relax

Dear Mr. Relax,

Ok, wow, my teen’s/20’s/30’s dating life is flashing in front of me.

Texting friends by hour two—that’s an investigation. This isn’t crazy; it’s insecurity. And yes, women like to feel secure. Shocking.

Before you tell her to “relax” (please don’t, unless you’re aiming to be single by dinner; such a trigger), try a real conversation.“What’s behind that?” goes further than attitude ever will.

— Luz

Dear Luz,

My teenage daughter is smart—could-run-the-world-smart—but she currently uses none of it. Late assignments, slipping grades, no job, zero interest in college. You get the idea. It seems like she believes that confidence and success will just magically appear.

I’m not funding this delusion forever. How do I get her to actually get up and do something?

—At My Wit’s End

Dear Wit’s End,

Oh, the “I’m gifted, success will circle back” era. Love the confidence. I am just as curious about the plan.

First, quick question Mom: Why would she do more when this is working? Grades slipping? No job? No pressure? That’s not failure; that’s one smart kid whose “plan” is working out. You don’t need a speech. She’s not attending (that’s funny).

Less cushion, more tough love.

— Luz

Dear Luz,

My parents have officially turned me into my brother’s personal Uber with a plus-one option he takes very seriously. Every ride, every plan, every outing—he’s there. Even my dates are starting to feel like group activities.

I say yes because I’m a good sister, but now I have zero independence and a permanent shadow. How do I set boundaries without becoming the family villain?

—In Need of Boundaries

Dear Boundary Maker,

Your brother on your dates? Romantic. Love that for you two. (Ha ha, had to.)

To answer, you start saying no. Not a speech, not a guilt essay. Just a “not tonight.” You’re a sister, not a full-time chauffeur with a plus-one policy. It’s ok to say that.

(Now… if Mom is reading this, of course, family first, of course. We love togetherness. Keep the siblings close.)

— Luz

Dear Luz,

There’s a woman in my office who loves a close conversation, like I mean close. And unfortunately, so does her coffee breath. Every interaction feels like I’m being gently attacked by a latte. I don’t want to embarrass her or make things awkward, but I also can’t keep sacrificing my oxygen like this.

How do I handle this without turning it into an HR situation?

—Breath Mints Are For Everyone

Dear Breath Mint,

Hmmm, dealing with a close talker who also has coffee breath? Man, I miss the city! Not the work, but these moments.

The group mint basket? Unhinged. Petty. Slightly iconic. LOVE it. But HR might have thoughts.

Keep your job and your dignity; be subtle. Offer gum mid-convo like a silent prayer. No words, only eye contact and hope. If she takes it, amazing. If she doesn’t, then we pivot to survival mode: lean back, blink less, and protect your airspace at all costs.

— Luz

This column was edited by Gia Miller.

This article was published in the March/April 2026 edition of Connect to Northern Westchester.