A Song By Eric Barni, Rocco Cambareri, Alex Gorman, Marc Muhlmeister and Anthony Piccolino
Design by Justin Negard
Founders’ note: Not everyone is born with the ability to use their voice. Not everyone can easily communicate their thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams. On this page, we’re give nonspeaking people in our community the opportunity to be heard. The authors are students at Mouth to Hand Learning Center in Mount Kisco. You can read about Mouth to Hand in the article “Force of Nature” on our website or in the September/October 2023 issue.
Oh woe is me, I gotta pee
There are no nurses near
My legs are jello, I cannot walk
It’s bedpan time, I fear
My arms look like a pincushion
My IV’s jingle, my monitors beep
Compared to the food, that’s all a picnic
And of course there’s the joy of getting no sleep
It’s four a.m., the lights turn on
Good morning, booms the nurse
It’s time to get a blood draw done
I look at her and curse
O celebrate the plastic bucket
When you gotta go, you got a lot to lose
I’m singing the bedpan blues
Oy vey, I need to pee again
And now I need to poo
Hello my friend, beloved pan
My best friend is totally you
Hospitals are such cheery places
Better than any vacation
Who needs a trip to Paris or Rome
This is the dream location
Time to take your temperature
That thermometer looks terrifying
Maybe you have a fever, the nurse grins at me
If she tries to stick that in by butt, I’m dying
O celebrate the plastic bucket
When you gotta go, you got a lot to lose
I’m singing the bedpan blues
Now it’s time to take your medicine
There are ninety-eight pills in that cup
If I have to swallow all of them
I’ll definitely throw up
I’ve been here for a thousand years
My chart looks like a tome
Is there a world outside this place?
Oh I remember, it’s called home
It’s a place where I wear actual clothes
The food is good as you can get
And no one wakes you fifty times
And hallelujah, a toilet
O celebrate the plastic bucket
When you gotta go, you got a lot to lose
I’m singing the bedpan blues
O celebrate the plastic bucket
Jazz hands folks, I gotta go
I sing the weepy bedpan blues
I love my excretory blues.
This article was published in the July/August 2025 edition of Connect to Northern Westchester.
Justin is an award-winning designer and photographer. He was the owner and creative director at Future Boy Design, producing work for clients such as National Parks Service, Vintage Cinemas, The Tarrytown Music Hall, and others. His work has appeared in Bloomberg TV, South by Southwest (SXSW), Edible Magazine, Westchester Magazine, Refinery 29, the Art Directors Club, AIGA and more.
Justin is a two-time winner of the International Design Awards, American Photography and Latin America Fotografia. Vice News has called Justin Negard as “one of the best artists working today.”
He is the author of two books, On Design, which discusses principles and the business of design, and Bogotà which is a photographic journey through the Colombian capital.
Additionally, Justin has served as Creative Director at CityMouse Inc., an NYC-based design firm which provides accessible design for people with disabilities, and has been awarded by the City of New York, MIT Media Lab and South By Southwest.
He lives in Katonah with his wonderfully patient wife, son and daughter.
