Founders’ note: Not everyone is born with the ability to use their voice. Not everyone can easily communicate their thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams. On this page, we’re giving non speaking people in our community the opportunity to be heard. The authors are students at Mouth to Hand Learning Center in Mount Kisco. You can read about Mouth to Hand in the article “Force of Nature.”

Visions

By Paul Klein

I wonder if dreams can come true.

Not just little ones…

But big ones that change the path of life.

Can I work on shaping a dreamscape where my visions become reality?

I am dependent:  I will need help. 

I am vulnerable. 

My body betrays me…will people betray me too?

In my mind, I see myself living as others live.

They have such freedom…

To move

To choose

And say yes or no

And to love as they want

And to go where they want

And to be what they want

They can try to create reality from their dreams.

But my body betrays me so I can only create dreams.

Visions become words

And words pour out of me like a waterfall in spring.

But it is up to others to make my words take form and shape and existence.

Help me be who I want to be.

Hear me.

About this piece:

Because we are disabled, we need more help than others who are not. The fact that we need so much help, our lack of autonomy, is a constant source of anxiety and frustration. How can I make my dreams come true if I can’t even care for myself? There are so many things I want to do with my life.  I want to go to college and get a real job. I want to buy my own house, and have my own family. I want to learn to drive, and have my own car. But the reality is so different from the dreams. 

I understand that no one has all their dreams come true…but can any of mine?  None can without help from other people. And that kind of reliance is terrifying. What if no one decides to help? What if the people who want to help me can’t? It is the lack of self-reliance that frightens me the most.

I know that Alex has total confidence in Judy, as do I, to help me as much as she can. But will that be enough? That is the question that haunts me. That is the subject of my poem, Visions.

This article was published in the September/October edition of Katonah Connect.