Writing  by Luz Michelle

Artwork by Justin Negard

Dear Luz,

My very devout husband has no idea that I’m faking it. I don’t care about religion, and I’m really sick of going to church every Sunday. How do I tell him it’s just not for me?

– Sundays are for sleeping

Good morning, Queen of Sundays!

Girl, it’s time to reclaim your throne! Picture this: Sunday morning, you emerge in sporty glam, ready to conquer the forces of early rising. A casual “See you later, I’m out” is all the action you need to take. It’s a silent protest, but with added athleisure flair.

Alternatively, the couples therapy card can be your Holy Grail. Present it like you’re embarking on a quest for a connection deeper than the mysteries of Netflix.

May your Sundays be blessed with blissful sleep, a dash of humor and strong enough coffee to raise the dead.

Dear Luz,

My husband still calls his parents Mommy and Daddy. Is it just me, or is that really weird?

– An actual grownup

Dear Grown One,

Ah, the timeless charm of “Mommy” and “Daddy” from a fully grown man. It’s like a linguistic time warp, isn’t it? I mean, who needs the sophistication of words like “mother” and “father” when you can stick to the classics? Am I right?

As much as I can go on, I will confidently say you already answered your own question here, my love.

Dear Luz,

My teen is constantly taking pictures of me, and I’ve had enough! I know she’s using these photos to make fun of me, and it’s inappropriate. I’ve asked her to stop a million times, but it seems like that makes her want to take more. Besides taking her phone away, which I don’t want to do, how do I get her to stop taking my picture?

– Camera shy

Dear Hollywood,

All I hear in my head is, “Hello paparazzi!” Tell her to come over to my house. I love making fun of myself in photos.

But why settle for a nuclear option when you can unleash the art of parental wit? Flip the script: capture her “glamorous” moments and share them in the family text thread with flair – GIFs, music, the whole shebang. Toilet elf pose, anyone? Grandma will love it.

Confidence is your superpower, Momma! Swiftly stash that snappy phone in your bra and let her experience the joy of boundaries.

Who knew parenting could be this avant-garde?

Dear Luz,

I think my son and his wife might be headed for divorce if he doesn’t change his ways. She’s even called me in tears a few times asking for help. I know he loves her, and I think he’s kind of oblivious to the pain he’s causing her. Should I step in and talk to him? Find them a therapist? I don’t like meddling, but I don’t want to regret not helping my son if I know something’s wrong.

– Concerned mom

Dear Mom,

Ohhhhh, what is the tea on this? It’s like a real-life soap opera, isn’t it? (FYI: I like my popcorn extra buttery.)

Certainly, what every marriage needs is a well-intentioned, meddling parent to swoop in and untangle the web of emotional turmoil. Forget privacy; your son’s love life is the latest episode in the family drama series, and I’m invested now.

And therapists? Absolutely! Maybe a unicorn therapist exists too – who knows?

Go ahead, Mama, and dive into the meddling abyss. After all, what’s a family without a little induced chaos?

Keep me posted.

This article was published in the January/February 2024 print edition of Connect to Northern Westchester.

Luz Michelle
+ posts

Luz Michelle has channelled her unique life experiences and background into a successful comedy career, gracing stages such as Caroline's, Gotham Comedy Club, The Stand, The NY Underground Comedy Festival, The North Carolina Comedy Festival and more, with her malapropisms and unique style. As Founder of Hard Headed Comedy™, a comedy entertainment company, Luz produces live and streamed showcases featuring a diverse mix of established and up-and-coming comedic talent.