Dear Luz #7

Dear Luz,

I don’t think I can handle another winter in New York. It’s just too cold for me! I’ve lived here my entire life, and I’m ready to pack up my gloves, hats and scarves for good. But the problem is that I still have kids at home, so I can’t be a snowbird just yet. I have another seven years until my youngest graduates high school and there’s no way I’m homeschooling. Any tips for surviving seven more winters of snow and ice?

– Freezing and miserable

Dear Miserable,

I can relate 100%. Once the temperatures reach below 65o, this mama is freezing!  But here’s the deal: with seven more winters to go, we’re in this together, and I’ve got some tricks up my (thermal) sleeve.

First, let’s talk fashion – embrace the layering game. Think of it as your personal arctic armor. Load up on those cozy socks, layer with some thermal leggings and get yourself a puffy jacket that makes you look like a fashionable marshmallow (think “Snowman’s Next Top Model”). Trust me, warmth is the new black. Now, when it comes to beverages, it’s all about the hot stuff. Coffee, tea, hot chocolate – they’re like little thermal hugs for your insides. And hey, if your hand isn’t holding a warm cup, are you even a real New Yorker?

Go throw more wood on the fire and when all else fails, there’s always my favorite, the hot toddy, to warm ya right up.

Dear Luz,

My 28-year-old daughter is still living at home! At first, it was fine – she moved home at the start of the pandemic. But now that we’re all moving on with our lives, she needs to move out. I’ve told her it’s time to get a place of her own, but she says she likes living with us and would miss us if she left. I don’t want to pack up all her stuff and put it out on the lawn, but I feel like we’re at that point. How do I get her to move on with her life so we can move on with ours?

– Done parenting

Dear Done,

Well, kudos to you! You’ve scored yourself a 28-year-old “talking” house plant. Who wouldn’t want to share their pantry-turned- therapy room with a grownup, right?

Step two is to gently remind her that while your home is ‘Home Sweet Home,’ it’s not a ‘Home for a Lifetime.’ Time to spread those wings, young lady! If that doesn’t work, move on to step three: throw in some ‘Reality Rent Bills’ as a quirky reminder that grownups pay for the roof over their heads. Nobody likes a bill, especially when it’s more than an apartment would cost.

What’s step one, you wonder? Have a heart-to-heart chat about your feelings and dreams of an empty nest. And, of course, don’t forget to sprinkle in a bit of humor. Mention all the fun things you’ll do with her vacant room, like turning it into a hot tub disco lounge or listing it on Airbnb. Who knows, she might just catch the not-so-subtle hint. And if not, there’s steps two and three.

Dear Luz,

Our son got divorced one year ago, and it seems like every holiday that he has our grandchildren, he drops his kids off with us and goes on vacation without them. We love our grandkids, but they should be taking trips and making memories with their dad, and we want to take our own vacations, too! What do we say to our son?

–  Loving grandparents

Dear babysitters, I mean grandparents,

So, you’ve stumbled into the role of being the grandkids’ pied piper while your son jets off on solo escapades? It’s almost like running a daycare center with a “No Parents Allowed” sign on the door. You clearly relish every second with those munchkins, but let’s be honest, it’s high time they discovered their dad’s legendary skills, like how to tell a dad joke so bad it’s good.

It’s time to give your son a (slightly sarcastic) reality check. Consider, “Hey, Buddy! We’ve been relishing our newfound status as the grandkids’ all-you-can-eat buffet of fun. But seriously, how about some fatherly bonding time on a family vacation? We’ll even purchase sunscreen for you all, and you can bring your ‘world’s worst dad joke’ repertoire. They’ll love it. Promise.”

See? It’s simple. Now go wipe that dust off of your own suitcases, book that trip and, of course, send a postcard to them grandkids while you’re taking in the vitamin D waves. Oh, and don’t forget to pack the aforementioned sunscreen.

Dear Luz,

How do I get my kids’ teacher to understand that they’ve got my kid all wrong? I’ve tried talking to them during parent-teacher conference, but there wasn’t enough time. I’ve sent a few emails and even asked for another meeting, but it’s been radio silence. I know I come across as “that parent,” but it’s really true – the teacher doesn’t get my kid. And now, my kid is suffering because of it. What should I do?

–   Longing to be heard

Dear Longing,

The classic case of “teacher vs. parent showdown” – we’ve all been there, right? First off, kudos to you for being that parent who’s got their kid’s back.  Now let’s handle this with a dash of support, a sprinkle of humor and a pinch of sass.

Nobody enjoys radio silence, especially when it’s about our kids.  Switch up the subjects on your emails by creating unique lines that will grab the teacher’s attention: e.g. “The chronicles of parenthood – Volume 47,” “Cracking the code of the misunderstood kid,”  or just cut right to the chase with the classic “Stop ignoring ME.” And if they’re still playing hard to get, you could consider organizing a sit-in protest in the school cafeteria – okay, kidding! (Well, maybe not entirely.)

But, in all seriousness, keep pushing for that face-to-face. You’re the advocate your kid needs, and you’re doing an incredible job. Keep at it, and who knows, maybe this teacher will finally “hear” you and see your kiddo’s brilliance.

This article was published in the November/December 2023 print edition of Connect to Northern Westchester.