Questions to ask before your child says yes
You’ve spent years helping your child get ready for college—monitoring their grades, gently steering their course selection, encouraging extracurriculars and more. This careful planning is important, but understanding what it takes to succeed and how you can help your child get there requires knowing the facts and acting on them.
According to the National Center for Education Statistics’ 2025 report, only 55 percent of students who enter college fulltime earn a bachelor’s degree after eight years. And when you look at students with invisible disabilities, such as ADHD, autism and dyslexia, their graduation rates are even lower. A group of researchers who published a study on this topic in the National Library of Medicine in August 2024 believe some of this gap is likely due to how the student’s high school addressed their academic and social needs, stating that without the additional supports these students need, they may “have difficulty integrating socially and academically at the college level, placing them at a disadvantage.”
The good news is that none of this is a reflection of your child’s ability. It’s a sign that support matters, even in college. And, as you’ve likely experienced, lining up the right supports is best done before the first day of classes. But it all starts with understanding what your child needs now, what you can help them achieve before they leave and what support they will need to succeed once they arrive.
Before you tour a single campus, start here
While disability services have likely changed since you attended college, schools are still not legally required to honor individual education plans (IEPs) and 504 plans. Therefore, it’s up to each school to determine what supports they will offer and who will provide them. So finding a school with the right disability support and staff for your child should begin by understanding where they struggle. “It’s so important for families to start talking about this as early as possible, such as sophomore or junior year,” says Sydney Ruff, the senior director of admissions at Landmark College in Putney, Vermont. She suggests parents schedule weekly 20-minute meetings with their child to determine what they will and won’t need in college.
Some meetings can begin with a question, like, “If the school took away your IEP or 504 Plan, would you be upset?” And when your child answers yes, discuss what services they need to succeed. “Many students never have the chance to read their psychoeducational reports, but they should. It can help them understand why they need certain supports and what they should look for in a college.” Other meetings might require advance preparation. For example, have them think about what their perfect classroom would look like. Is it a large lecture hall, a small discussion-based format, project learning, etc.? Another time, they could think about their perfect school and why.
One of the bigger conversations should focus on your child’s level of independence. “I often encourage students and parents to each write a list of everything the student can manage on their own and what they need help with,” Ruff recommends. “Success could mean they’ve set a daily or weekly alarm on their phone. As long as they don’t need you to remind them, they’re managing it on their own.” Consider everything that goes into your child’s day, from waking up on time and taking medication to end-of-day tasks, including homework, personal hygiene and putting the phone down at a reasonable time. Then, include the non-daily tasks, such as scheduling doctor appointments and doing laundry. Once everyone has created their lists, discuss and compare. “Oftentimes, you’ll realize there are tasks, like medication management, your child cannot do because it was never on anyone’s radar,” Ruff notes. “Then, the conversation turns to teaching them how to do these things. But only tackle a few at a time so it doesn’t become overwhelming.”
If it’s obvious your child cannot manage certain tasks yet, they should be added to the list of supports they will need in college. Additionally, consider any sensory needs (lights, sounds, food, etc.) that impact your child and add that as well. Some schools have dorms or wings that can accommodate these needs.
What great college support actually looks like
“Some schools offer supports through outside agencies, ranging from daily wake-up calls to executive function coaches, but if they don’t have access to the rest of the student’s life on campus, there’s often a disconnect,” says Ruff. “Without employing the right professionals and obtaining the proper level of student buy-in, the support will only move the needle a little bit,” says Ruff. “It’s not necessarily going to address the greater need. And, if the student doesn’t see the value in the support, they won’t show up for their appointments.”
To make this work, Landmark College provides all students with weekly advisor meetings. Their first goal is to help the student develop a strong understanding of how they learn. Then, according to Ruff, “Once they understand that, so many more possibilities happen. But if we don’t cover that first, then nothing else will work, and things will crumble around them.”
Part of this learning is accomplished by exploring why they struggle with certain things. “Once they understand the why, they’re able to incorporate the right strategies,” Ruff explains. “But it takes practice, as well as an understanding and supportive environment, because it’s not easy. It’s a very challenging process that hits students emotionally, physically and academically.” That means your child will make mistakes, but, more importantly, they will have the right support to learn from these mistakes. Instead of failing, they will gain an understanding of what they need to succeed independently. Then as your child becomes more confident and able to manage their needs, they can reduce their level of support. And if they begin to struggle, they will know exactly what they must to do to help themselves.
Sometimes, making sure your child is part of that 55 percent means getting specialized support at the start, even if it’s not for the entire college experience. “Landmark has always been a model for educating students for however long they need us,” says Ruff. “So that could be one semester of rigorous training and then transferring on to their desired college. It could mean completing an associate degree and then transferring or earning their bachelor’s degree with us. But the idea is, once they leave Landmark, regardless of when that is, they can confidently say, ‘I can make this work in any environment.’”
Visit landmark.edu or call 800-387-6718 for more information about how Landmark College supports neurodivergent learners.
This article was published in the November/December 2026 edition of Connect to Northern Westchester.
The editorial staff at Connect To magazine.
