How to Give the Perfect Gift

Written for teens by a teen, but good advice knows no age limit

By Kayla Schmidt

Artwork by Annie Kennedy

Imagine you’re walking through a luscious jungle full of a wide variety of fruits, plants and more. As you walk through this jungle, you encounter obstacles that distract you from your quest to find a rare plant. Well, not exactly a plant. A gift. And not exactly a jungle, but a store. The obstacles? People, useless items and your own mind.

As a teen, I understand the struggle. If you often find it difficult to craft the perfect gift and show people you care, there is good news. Gift giving is an art that we can learn.

Why the hunt matters

Wondering why gift-giving is so important and/or why your parents seem to stress about it? Isn’t a gift card enough? Well, while a gift card can be great, it turns out gift-giving requires more than just your wallet. “Gift giving is a big deal because it shows people who you like or love that you appreciate them,” says Kristin Hemick, owner of The Shepherd + Co. in Bedford Hills. “It’s the thought that counts. Really. It’s the oldest saying, but it’s true.”

Putting thought into a gift can make all the difference. If you get someone a mug because you know they drink a lot of coffee, that’s good, but you can take it up a notch by buying a mug with an image or a funny saying that is meaningful for them. The little things truly make all the difference.

We’ve been on the receiving end of gifts for years, but now we have more responsibilities, one of which is gift giving. And it’s important for us to understand why. “It’s tradition, and that’s important,” says Kelly Raneri, owner of Charles Department Store in Katonah. “And that tradition of gift-giving during the holidays exists because it’s a way that people show love and appreciation during a time of the year that’s so meaningful.”

Preparing the survival kit

One of the most helpful things you can do is plan ahead: budgeting, gift ideas, etc. And since many of us lack those plan-ahead skills, don’t think of it as creating any sort of meticulous, time-stamped planning document; instead, it’s a simple mental checklist (or a physical one you create on your phone) of what you should consider beforehand. You can build these skills slowly, starting with a bit of simple preparation before you go shopping. Think of the person you’re shopping for and your main goal or goals, then focus on that. The rest will come as you need it.

“It is so important to go in with a plan, especially a plan for your budget,” suggests Tanya Tochner, owner of ROCKS in Chappaqua and Scarsdale. “When I was a teenager, I was taught to save my money and buy gifts for quality rather than abundance. For teenagers, that’s important.”

Even a super simple plan, lacking in any real substance or direction, is a start. Luckily, if you are struggling, it’s not only okay to ask store employees for help, it’s encouraged. “I see a lot of teens who come in by themselves, and they are very timid to ask for help,” says Raneri. “Don’t be afraid to speak up and ask for help. You can just introduce yourself and say, ‘Hi, I’m Kelly. I need a gift for my mom; can you help me?’ We’re a wealth of knowledge, and we will ask you questions about the person to help you find a great gift.”

And if you are asking for help (which isn’t as scary as you might think), you should have some  idea of what you want (price range, purpose, genre, etc.). “The important thing is to know what they like, as well as what their decor is,” notes Tochner. “If you’re buying jewelry, know if they like white gold or yellow gold. Or if you’re buying them a candle, know what kind of scents they like. Getting to know something about the person you’re buying the gift for is important.”

Tracking their moves

The real key to giving a great gift is to make it meaningful, which is not as impossible as it seems. “Think about what they like or what you do together,” Raneri suggests. “What do you see them buying or wearing? What do they always talk about? It’s all about paying attention to those details. Whenever I’m talking to someone I’m close with, I try to take note of what I hear them saying. My favorite gift to give is something that I know someone would want.”

Whether it be your best friend or a Secret Santa pairing who you barely know, the key is to pay attention. Sometimes, that might involve a conversation. “My best advice for teens is to take notice,” says Hemick. “And if you’ve looked for clues, but you’re still not sure, then ask them about their interests. The trick is to do so without saying, ‘Hey, I’m looking to give you a gift.’ Instead, ask questions like, ‘What interests you lately?’ Or, ‘What do you like to do in your free time?’ That way you can make it meaningful while still being a surprise.”

One thing you can even do is add little personal touches to your gift. “You can make gifts feel more personalized by adding meaningful things,” explains Tochner. “It can be something as simple as adding their favorite cookies in a cute bag or on a small cookie tray. You can also personalize scarves, toiletry bags, throws and more.”

Creating a campfire legend

You don’t want your gift to blend in with the others, right? So take some time to think about how to make your gift memorable. Personalization plays a significant role in this, but it’s not the sole factor. Consider how you present the gift. Are you wrapping it in a specific style? Are you giving it to them in a way that will make them smile or laugh? Are you making it yourself? The little details show that you spent time making the whole experience special for them.

Another great way to personalize a gift is to write a card. Raneri says she always includes a handwritten card. “It’s so meaningful, and I think people overlook it,” she notes. “When I write a card, I always start with ‘I hope this card finds you well in whatever season it is.’ Then I go into what the gift is and why I’m giving it. For example, ‘Please enjoy these dish towels. The pattern reminds me of your garden.’ Next, I take the opportunity to tell them how they are important to me. If they’re family, I write, ‘I love you.’ If it’s a close friend, I tell them how grateful I am that they are in my life. It’s really important to slow down and take the time to stop and tell someone why they are important to you. It will benefit you as well.”

Ultimately, there are so many factors that go into making a gift “perfect” or even just a good gift. It’s important to remember that the price tag isn’t everything. “Thoughtful is more meaningful,” explains Hemick. ”It shows that you’re really thinking about the other person and what they like. It really is quality over quantity, so don’t worry so much about getting something “perfect,” because anything you put thought into will be perfect to your recipient.”

This article was published in the November/December 2025 edition of Connect to Northern Westchester.